Otis Redding sang it first, in 1965 but it was Aretha Franklin who made it into a mega-watt hit two years later. What am I talking about?
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
[You are singing it now I bet.]
All Aretha was asking for was a little respect.
[You are most definitely singing it now : )]
Turns out, respect is one of four essential values that have been identified during the Covid pandemic, according to this article in the Guardian. Values that, the article argues, may seem old fashioned, but need to be at the forefront of our human behaviour in these emergent days and long into our futures.
I was sent this article knowing it would be of interest, and it follows on well from my musings here on keys to happier living as we navigate our way to living more normal lives.
Who knows what normal even means any more.
Much has been said and written about how we suddenly saw in a new light roles in our society that previously might have been invisible. Shelf stackers in supermarkets, food delivery and distribution personnel, IT geniuses and tech folk who kept the broadband and wifi working for so many of us, NHS staff. If you have children, your respect for teachers is likely at an all-time high.
Who springs to your mind as you consider your past year and who and what you relied on?
Showing respect and value for the contribution that each and every human on this planet makes should not have to be spelled out. It should be a given.
Respect should be a basic human right.
Sadly, this is not always the case.
And that can cause us to slide down a slippery slope of despair at our world. Just think about the Black lives matter movement for one example of a lack of lived out respect for our fellow humans.
But before we get too despondent, we need to stop and remember that each of us has the power to make a difference in our own circle of influence.
We each have a choice. And each of us can choose to show respect to those around us.
Respect comes from the Latin word “respectus” which means attention, regard or consideration.
I like this definition:
esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability“.
What does this mean coming out of the pandemic?
Respect for folk who are on a different place on the anxiety spectrum.
Reponses to the pandemic and gradual lifting of restrictions are not binary: “yes I’m fine and relaxed with it all” versus “no, I’m not and I’m avoiding all contact”. There is a spectrum and you will be on it somewhere. Chances are, there will be people you come into contact with who will be in a different place on that spectrum – those who are not OK with what you are OK with, or vice versa.
This is about respecting where the other person is coming from and not trying to change their views. We show respect by choosing to listen with a view to understand (more on that here and here ) rather than listening with a view to change, undermine or over-rule.
You can respect someone but not agree with them.
Interestingly, look into the definitions of Respect on the Cambridge Dictionary website, and you get phrases like
politeness, honour and care shown towards someone or something
accepting different customs and cultures and behaving towards them without causing offence
not attempting to change or harm something that is considered right or important
Respect for safety of staff and changes put in place.
We choose to accept the changes that have been put in place in businesses, shops, restaurants, respecting the decisions taken, and we do so without causing offence. I met with a friend this week in a cafe. Because we were two different households, we were seated at a large table with our seats a long distance apart. This made conversation difficult and stilted.
Was it ideal? No. Was I tempted to question the necessity of it? Yes.
But in light of this value of respect, I chose instead to accept the measures the cafe had put in place and show kindness, honour and gratitude to the staff. They are working under all these extra burdens, and the least we can do is offer our polite attention, regard and consideration for their work.
Respecting ourselves and our own needs.
Many of us are finding we are living with narrower margins than normal. We have less mental or emotional capacity and are perhaps frayed and brittle. Respecting ourselves is showing that care towards ourselves, recognising that we are worthy of care, attention and regard. This is about stopping and noticing our own needs, and giving ourselves and others grace when we feel a bit battered and bruised.
Respect: what does it mean to you? And what does it mean to show it to others and yourself this week?